I went on a one-day retreat recently that had no agenda other than to bring women together. I knew no one there, but got an email invitation as part of some website or other that I subscribe to, and decided that it was the perfect way to spend a Sunday.
Comfy pants, tea mug, and open heart went with me into that retreat around 10am, and I can’t describe to you what left with me at 6pm. I want to. I really do. But it’s the mystery of spontaneous sisterhood that grows wherever you let it. I don’t have the words to explain this special kind of solidarity.
There is this intangible, beautiful thing that happens when a group of women gets together to just be. There is no need to produce anything, no competition, no gossip, no rules. And though I knew none of these women going in, and though I may not cross paths with them all again, if we need each other I know we have each other’s backs.
I am very lucky to live where and when I do, that a spontaneous Sunday retreat is an option. How wonderful would it be if every woman could experience this on a regular basis? How much better if our teenage girls could, too? How much could our mothers and grandmothers have benefited? Yes, we can gab in the kitchen or meet for brunch and get a little taste of what it is, but I know there’s something more, something that’s been missing from my life and I’m betting from some of yours.
As I tried to piece this ineffability together, I was reminded of the horror of domestic abuse. It’s awful enough to fear a man, but worse is how women tend to devalue their own– and each other’s– power. Anger came up for me, certainly, but also such a deep well of sadness. This was a very old story, told in a hundred languages every day. Turning to one of my favorite books, I came across this (now ellipse-ridden) passage.
“When we fend only for ourselves, the sense of sisterhood is gone; there is just mistrust… Feminine energy is an energy of connection. The truth is, if I am happy, my happiness overflows to you. If I am not happy, my unhappiness overflows to you. We are connected… Many women individually have suffered abuse, and this abuse has damaged women’s connections to the web of life and light…The abuse of women is something that must be healed in order for wider transformation to take place… Unconsciously, women know they have power, but consciously they are scared to acknowledge it… Because other women have drunk from the same source that we have, only they know what it is like… There is a tone, a chorus between women, a shared experience. Women can hold the mirror up so other women can see… When one woman becomes healed, it reverberates onto others… As women heal, feminine spirit heals, this healing affects us all. These connections can change the world very quickly.”
(Hilary Hart and Sobonfu Some, The Unknown She)
These connections can change the world very quickly. And now I can say exactly why that retreat meant so much, and why I’ll do my best to reinforce the web every chance I get.
Inspiration Everywhere 